Six months ago today, I held your hand. I begged, repeatedly. Asking you, please stay.
Have you ever thought, how something so clear can ever make you feel disoriented? Confused that one very turn, clouded judgments, complicated decisions, can cause tears — Immense pain. Make you lose countless battles. They met, not by fate, but by chance. Fell in love, deeply, by choice but never by reason. Have you ever…
Listen closely. Do you hear the familiar lines of our song? She asks. Do you want to dance? I smile. Do we take it slow? She leans in. Do I hold her? Listen again. Is that her voice calling me home? Or is that us saying goodbye? Listen.
That first moment. She saw this girl, walking towards her direction. Giddy, as a kid on Christmas day. Nervous, desperate on what to say. Butterflies, fluttering in a million different ways.
Pause. She slips. You hug tighter. Breathe. She falls. You catch faster. Repeat. She cries. You hold longer. Think. She leans. You kiss deeper.
Longing, as each day passes. Defying logic, odds, and sanity. Of a thousand fluttering butterflies. Questions, the hows and whys. Reaching across the bed, finding, wanting, craving. In thoughts and dreams. In sweet smiles and hollow pains. In harsh reality and peaceful escapes. Hold on. Hang in there. Stay with me.
Move, closer. Inhale, deeper. Exhale, faster. Listen, quietly. Dance, slowly. Bite, gently. Kiss, hungrily. Hold, tightly. Never, fall. Don’t, let go.
How could one not believe? Across borders of insanity, I traveled back through time. Thousands of miles away, longing for her one kiss. How could one question life’s existence? Filling my drained soul. With history,with warmth, with faith. I walked and wandered about the vast ruins of royalty. How could one still have doubts? The…
Most times, I wondered — how does a smile, a slight nudge, a tight hug can drastically change my hellish day? How often do I have to rethink, rewrite, rewind just to be able to translate these thoughts to words whenever I think about you? How do I stop from reaching over, kissing you and…
Waking up beside you after an excruciating day, makes me believe that I can survive yet another lifetime.